I got the present to Jayme. And the letters. I’m still worried about how he reacted. But like Leah said, I just need to not worrie about it. It will make me sick. It’s done it before. 
I’m just going to have to forget about it. I mean…I don’t want to forget him…but I don’t need to worrie about it.
I felt weird all day at work today. Just because I knew he was going to find out sometime today. Every-now-and-then when it would slow down and I had time to think about it it about drove me crazy. So I was doing everything I could to keep my mind off of it.
Anyways…tomorrow is my one day off this week. It’s crazy. Last week I had 4 days off, and this week I only have 1. I don’t know what my managers are thinking. I need to go buy some black pants. I am working New Years Eve and we dress diffirently that day. Everyone wears a tux without the jacket. 
I can’t wait. It will be so much better than those stupid skirts they make us wear now. They provide the shirts and vest things but we have to have black pants and shoes. So I’m gonna try to get Moma to let me go to Wal*Mart tomorrow to find some. She may make me take Kareen with me.
Oh, and Kareen is staying here for 2 weeks. She has been my friend sense K. But she has always acted the same age. She is 17 and she acts like she is about 7. She can be ok sometimes…but most the time she just gets annoying. Oh well. I will be working most the time anyways and she is starting school next week too.
But I guess I should probably get off here. Not that I will actualy be going to sleep…but whatever. 
But befor I go I found a quote: “If you can solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying? If you cannot solve it, then what is the use of worrying?” – Shantideva
I added a new layout. The other one started depressing me. They were too happy. lol. So I made an extreamly simple layout, but I love the colors. You can still use the other one though because I added a theme switcher. So over there where it says change it up, you can change it.
But it’s late now and I’m going to bed.
I need to give Jayme his present and the letters. Yeah, I wrote him another letter. I think this one explains more. But I don’t know how I’m going to get it to him. Maybe I should ask his grandma for their address. Ya know, use someones phone at work to call. Yeah, I’ll do that if they can’t come pick it up soon. It’s killing me that Jayme dosn’t really know how I’m feeling about all this. I think that’s what’s really bothering me the most. I’m not sure though.
It also kills me that I know him well enough to know that he isn’t going to take this well at all. I wish I could make this easer on him somehow. I’m better at handeling things than he is. But I think that is because of him being bipolar. I hope he dosn’t do anything stupid or anything that he will regret. I hope that he can go on with his life and be happy. I don’t want him to forget me, but I don’t want him to hold on to the thought of me forever and miss his chance of finding the one he is suposed to be with. If that person truly is me then I believe we will find eachother again. But right now, we aren’t ment to be with eachother.
I was watching 7th Heaven a little bit ago. They said that you can pray about something all the time, but you have to take action. You can’t just sit around waiting for God to do everything. Yeah, God will take care of it. But you have to do something too.
I think I’m doing the right thing, breaking up with Jayme. I didn’t last month…but I have had time to think about it more now. That’s all I needed was time to think.
Alrighty, at some point I will actually have a little something about me in here, untill then, this is all ya get. :P Sorry. O and there will be a picture too. For now I'm going to work on this layout. It's almost done. :)
