I don’t want to lie anymore. I still want to be with Jayme but I don’t see how I can. I understand my parents, I really do. I hate lieing to them. So I’m not going to. I’m just going to have to stop seeing Jayme. I know they are right. He isn’t good for me. I just hate that because I love him. I don’t know how I’m going to tell him this. I swear it is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. But it will be for the best, I guess.
Right now I am pretty much grounded untill they can trust me again. Moma is saying maybe by summer considering everything goes alright and I’m not lieing.
I think I knew that this was going to end sometime. Well, knew recently. Not at first. I thought we would be together forever. But now I know that can’t happen. The only reason I’m lieing to my parents all the time is because of Jayme.
I still want to give him his Christmas present. I got him a really nice watch. I want him to have it.
Anyways, I added some poems and an about me section last night. O and the contact me part. None of the other pages are up yet though. I hope to have them up soon though.
Ya know, I have never actualy said that I hate my parents. But now seems like a great time to. I hate my parents. Yes, those people that think they can control everything in my life. Those people that will not let me live my own life. Daddy says that if I just tell him the truth I wouldn’t be in as much trouble. But that’s only because they would make me stay at home. I wouldn’t have been alowed to go anywhere if they knew that I was still with Jayme then or that everytime I left the house to be with friends I was with him. I know they don’t trust me. Fine. I’m grounded already, what are they going to do…ground me for another month? Go ahead! Ground me for a year! I don’t care anymore! Are you happy?!?! I don’t fucking care!!! Is this what you wanted Mom? Is this what you wanted Dad? Well this is now what you have. A daughter that dosn’t care about anything. She goes to work to get away from you. She goes to school to see the one or two friends that she has and to get away from you. I hope you are happy. You think you are helping but you aren’t. I might fail my English Comp. class because of you.
I’m leaving when I turn 18. Granted I will probably stay in town, but that’s only because of school. You can try to stop me. But I will fight. I will do what ever it takes to get out of here. It’s like a prison only in some ways worse. I still have to go to school and work and I still have to talk to you.
Moma, It used to kill me not being able to talk to you. Now I just don’t care. Don’t tell me about your stupid day. I don’t want to know about your stupid perfect life! You pretty much have had a perfect life execpt for your horible daughter. You havn’t had troubles like others have and you think I have to be exactly like you. Let me live my own life! Let me make mistakes! It’s part of life. Get over it!
They are trying to ruin my life. First they tell me I can’t see the guy I love. Now they are going to make me fail school. I swear every time I try to write this stupid essay (on parenting no less) they feel the need to talk to me. Well when they are through talking I can’t concentrate on anything, espicaly not the essay. I am more than likely going to fail this class. And when I do I will let them know that it is at least partly their fault. I had hope earlyer today that I might be able to bring my grade up and pass. But now I can’t concentrate at all and I blame my stupid parents.
Alrighty, at some point I will actually have a little something about me in here, untill then, this is all ya get. :P Sorry. O and there will be a picture too. For now I'm going to work on this layout. It's almost done. :)
