I love him.There is no doubt about it. Call me crazy if you want, maybe I am. But I love him. The problem is..that scares me. Which possibly sounds even crazier. How or why does that scare me? Well…Good things don’t last, not for me anyways. They never seem to. I am so happy with him. I feel like a little kid, because only little kids seem to truly be this happy. It scares the hell out of me! Another thing that’s crazy, it’s only been two weeks. Yes, it feels like it has been a lot longer, but it really hasn’t.
Ok, so I don’t think I’m crazy. It still scares me though. I don’t think he is crazy either. Even though I tell him that he is because he calls me beautiful. I guess his eyes just aren’t working right. lol.
He keeps thinking I’m going to break up with him. Mainly because of things he used to do. Like I told him tonight, everyone has done stupid things in their past, but it’s in the past. I love him for who he is, not who he was.
I should probably go to sleep. I keep staring at the screen and there aren’t any amazing words coming to mind (but then again, I haven’t written anything amazing before, why start now?).
Ya know, maybe those good things in the past wern’t really actually good things. Maybe I just thought they were, but they wern’t and that’s why they ended. Maybe this is the actual good thing. Maybe this will last. Not maybe. It will.
There we go…not so scared anymore. Those were the amazing words I was looking for. Ok, maybe they aren’t amazing..but I think they are pretty good. If it can keep me from being afraid of the future…then it’s got to be good.
Now I’m going to bed.
It’s amazing how much music affects me. I can be in the worst mood ever, but if I listen to the right music I will be as calm as can be. (Unless I’m driving and there are stupid people on the road.)
I’m in a really good mood today. Even though I just got a 77 on my Illustrator final. Well, I’m sure my over all grade for my final is a lot higher because I got 100 on my portfolio and my final project. Actually I can go check right now, my teacher has probably already posted our grades…. Never mind. They aren’t up yet. 
Oh well. I’ll check later.
I finally told my parents I have been wanting to tell them sense I got with Cory. I just wasn’t sure how they were going to react so I waited to tell them. He has two kids. Very cute. I have only met his daughter though. I have been wanting to tell them. It was really hard not to after I met Djini. I love kids. So it’s hard for me not to talk about them to my parents. Or to my mom at least.
I talk about Cory all the time (probably too much but no one has told me to shut up…yet.) I have almost said something about Djini way too many times. Yeah, I should have just told my parents to begin with. But I didn’t. At least they know now.
So, I have another hour and a half before I have my next (and last) final. Well, last for this semester anyways.
I guess I’m gonna go for now. I’ll probably get bored in a little bit and write more. 
Yes, I should be sleeping. I swear I only blog when I should actually be doing something else. Or if not sleeping then studying for my two finals that I have on Monday. I’m really not worried about them. Ok, so maybe I am. But I have to be, they are finals! But I do have almost 100% in both classes. So if I do do badly on the final, the worst that will happen is that I pass with a B instead of an A. But I’d rather have an A.
So, sleeping, yes, I should be doing that. Because I have church in the morning, then work after that (which we will probably be late getting out), then Monday I have to be in class at 8am (instead of 9 like it’s been all semester) for my first final, then hang around for a few hours waiting for my other final at 11. Then Monday after Cory gets off work we are going to his place to ride the 4wheeler and stuff.
O my gosh. I’m actually going to have one day this week where I have nothing to do. That is amazing. lol. Wednesday I’m off of work and I will be done with school. 
Sweet. lol. I will definitely be sleeping in. 
But then Friday is going to start a tiring weekend. Friday Leah and I are leaving here at 6am to go to Fayetteville to visit the University of Arkansas. We will be back sometime after noon. At 5 (I think) we are going paintballing and barn swinging with the church. We wont be back from that till 11. Saturday I have to be at work at 6:30, which means leaving here at 5:30. Then after work I’m sure Cory and I will be doing something and I’ll be staying out untill 11. Then Sunday I have to get up at 5:30 again to be at work. It makes me tired just thinking about it. lol. It will be fun though. Who needs sleep?
O my gosh! So Cory and I went on our first date last night. Yes, he asked me out last Wednesday, but this was our first date. And I swear this boy is crazy. I love him..but he is still crazy. We went out to eat and went to my work so they could meet him. Then we walked around and wound up going to one of the malls. He forces me to go into Zales. He wanted to buy me something to remember our fist date by. Fist of all, I remember first dates. Second, you don’t have to buy me something so that I do. Anyways..He bought me a really pretty necklace. A little key..the top part is a heart. I’ll take a picture sometime and put in on here. But yeah, he spent way too much on the date. No guy has ever spent that much money on me (except my dad, but he doesn’t count).
So apparently I’m not like most girls. (I could have told him this before.) Apparently most girls would have argued with him about him paying for the gas. And most girls would have been fine with getting jewelry. But Obviously I’m not most girls. No one has ever accused me of that. After he pointed out to me that most girls would have argued with him about paying for the gas, we argued about who would have the argument if I had argued. lol.
I do love the necklace and I had a great time. I just wish he hadn’t spent so much money. He dosn’t have to buy me things. I’m happy just being with him. :love:
Alrighty, at some point I will actually have a little something about me in here, untill then, this is all ya get. :P Sorry. O and there will be a picture too. For now I'm going to work on this layout. It's almost done. :)
