Change
June 23, 2007 at 9:53 pm in Confusing, Emotional, Everyday Life, Guys | 0 Comments
I could tell things were changing. Right after I met Cory I could tell things were going to be changing in a big way. Yeah…change is good, things can’t always stay the same…even if we want them to. I could tell it was going to be a good change….but in the back of my mind I had a feeling that something bad would probably be comming with it.
The good: Cory
The bad: Well…not bad.
Leah joined the National Guard. And what little time she has left here with us is being majorly screwed up. I don’t know how to fix it. I can’t stand that I can’t talk to her right now. I also can’t stand that she thinks Cory is going to be just another guy. (read her last blog…if you can understand it.)
I don’t know how to fix things. Not this. I just don’t know what to do. Cory aoligzed, Leah apoligzed, I compleatly blame myself, Cory blames himself. What the hell am I suposed to do?!
So, last night we tryed to go skating with some of my friends. (me, cory, leah, hannah, kareen, jay, and ben) We took two cars to Branson. One car had me, Cory, Ben, and Kareen. Leah, Hannah and Jay were in the other. The ride up there was fine. We decided to go eat at Taco Bell. One group sat on one side and one on the other. A little bit after everyone was sat down I realized that we were split up still. When we got to the skating rink it was closed so we decided (after a little bit…no one was arguing but atleast two of us had an attitude about it) to go bowling. Right before we got there Cory said that he wasn’t going to bowl with her and her attitude. We sat there for a little while trying to decide what we were going to do, Cory yelled at me (he apollagized), Leah didn’t say a word to me without an attitude (but what does that matter…I don’t remember the last time she spoke to me without an attitude), finally we just went home. Anyways… The point is we can’t even have any fun together anymore. Not with all my friends together. I can vaugly remember when we used to be able to do that.
I feel bad though. Jay skiped some ball game to go with us, Kareen would have had more fun just sitting at my house, Ben also would have had more fun at home, Hannah is on vacation and just trying to spend some time with her friends before she has to go back home.
And by the way Leah.. I do realize that by moving in with Cory means that we wont be moving in together. But do you realize that when I turn 18 you wont be here…you wont even be here when you turn 18. Everyones life here isn’t going to stop when you leave. I love you to death hun, I always will. But I hate the way things are right now.
And another thing…You are worried about Cory hurting me when you are the one still talking to the guy that has hurt you atleast twice. Don’t worry so much about the mistakes I may or may not be making when you have enough of your own to worry about.
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